Stella Joy

“Stella She”

 Stella She

I was trying to set up an email account for something a few days ago, when I had a vague memory that at one point I had a gmail account I had set up because I wanted to start blogging about Stella.  When I was pregnant with her, I was obsessed with reading those “baby on the way” blogs that some people write.  I thought it was so cool to be able to track your physical changes, your emotions and joys and plans for the baby.  Moms-to-be post photos of their stomachs expanding, the nurseries they decorated, the outfits their babies will come home in, ultrasound pictures.  Those blogs were endlessly entertaining to me, but by the time I found them I felt it was too late to start one for my pregnancy with Stella.  Instead, about a year into parenthood, I tried to start a blog…just for myself, not public, that would be a type of journal in which I would write for Stella, so that … Read more

“How are you doing?”

“How are you doing?”.  That question, though I expect it and have answered it a thousand times now, still makes me pause.  Because when people who know ask it, it is not just a general conversation starter but rather … Read more

Morning Gory

I think mornings are difficult in every household.  When Stella was here, the early part of the day was usually the most challenging.  I used to refer to it as “Morning Gory”.  When I think back, all I remember is sitting on the couch at 5:10am, the darkness … Read more

HEARTACHE

They call it heartache because your heart really does hurt.  I’ve found it so interesting that grief and mourning is such a physical process.  Of course your mind is constantly … Read more

Ray of Light

Mother’s Day is not a holiday full of sappy cards, brunches at a restaurant or potted plants in our house.  It’s a day of reflection, of memories and going through the motions of a holi… Read more